09 January 2014

Slim Shady Salmon

On September 20, 2013 I posted a poem of mine I called "Perspective." Strangely, for my poems (or any posts), I got six "pluses" from Google Plus users (two were probably my own). I assure you, a real rarity.

analogous of minded me
supposition of a maker


if this then that
be salmon-fin

or salmon-red
white upon a spawn

outbreak of bounds
to wingless burst of air

antagonist of course
interdict of bear

an agonist of accidents
coincident intention

I was told that there was no way "in" to the poem by a few readers. Noted, but I'm not one to really know what to do to open the right door. So...

Later I cut four lines, called it "A Law," and inserted it into a series of poems I called "Fold."

A Law


if this then that
be salmon-fin

or salmon-red
white upon a spawn

a breaking bounds
by wingless burst of air:

antagonist of course
interdict of bear.


Today, I got my last issue of The Boston Review in the mail (Jan/Feb 2014). In it was the the following poem by Henk Rossouw called "Sonnet for My Son."

The way to see the invisible salmon is to cook it at once,
on lowered heat, in a cast-iron pan glossy with the fat

of earlier salmon that cannot be seen. When the salmon is ready
it is cerise. This is supper, and also supposition--

no-one has caught the invisible salmon but the invisible
bear, nine hundred pounds of desire, who hibernates

in the double bed. The bear is not an idea. Since when
was desire a good idea? The bear is a Kodiak instance, stolen

from the time stream that slips around the airfoil
of the present, an aerodynamic hump in the double bed, scion

of a long-crested line of airborne bears, who fishes
and whoops asleep, invisible paw dangling over a colander

full of water, rife with coho, sockeye, Chinook, chum,
swirling and transparent as the night is at night time.


Of course this poem is not like my poem. But I would like to suggest that this poem interprets my poem and makes it into something that seems more personal (it is for "my son" after all)--that perhaps it opens a door to the reader where "Perspective" offers a few locks.

But, noting that, I'm not exactly sure that my poem doesn't more accurately interpret Rossouw's poem. In any event, I find this poem more perplexing than my own.

Perhaps if we combine "A Law" with "Out of Many Mouths" it makes more sense.

inimitable voice
are you listening

we hear you everywhere
it turns out you have a following

in others who speak to be heard
they hear through you

blown as you are
out of a twirl

though you walk
above gardens

in a twinkle

though you balance
so keenly

on an edge
a peak

cut

to bear
one interpretation

if this then that
be salmon-fin

or salmon-red
white upon a spawn

a breaking bounds
by wingless burst of air

antagonist of course
interdict of bear

1 comment:

  1. i like the second one best. "interdict" perfect word in last line.

    ReplyDelete